Merry Christmas, Christy 12/25/2011
 Yes, it's been over 5 months since I've posted here. I just kind of lost steam with this. However, this is a very special post. For a very special reason. For a very special person. Basically, Christy, your friends and I just wanted to say how much we love you and miss you. Since you can't be in Ohio with your family, we thought we'd bring some of the Holiday experience to you... or just make you laugh with some silly pictures. Christy is meta. You always look flawless. How do you do it?  Time for Church.  Avoiding the family. Drinkin' with Christy.  Holiday preparations      Wanna play a game?  Christy, I think you're playing the wrong game. Being domestic is hard. How do you do it?   Cleanup is done. Now we can jam. ... and play with puppies. Party!   Partied so hard. Passed out with Grandpa. Christy is always stylin'. Even the morning after. Christy is really, really meta. And, just in case you haven't seen it...A little song Matt and I put together for Christy. Add Comment ... EVEN 3-D! 07/20/2011
 I got this email at work from some crazy lady. Enjoy. My comments in bold italics. I deleted a couple things here and there. To Whom it may Concern: I am Looking for A SPONSOR ! I am NOT A PROFESSIONAL… Nor am I A SPORTING EVENT ! ... I for one am HOCKEY !  I am However THE ONE and ONLY Person Who is Going to Bring THE WORLD “THE” Second Coming Story. LOOKING For A SPONSOR WHO CAN Carry Me THROUGH ALL My GOALS ?… Or Just START Me ?… (Both GOAL LIST are BELOW). NO DOUBT I HAVE THE STORY of OUR TIME ! THE Story The World is Waiting for. However it Will be Coming UNLIKE the way they ALL Expect. This STORY IS GOING WORLD WIDE…& Me ALONG With IT... (AGAIN GOAL LIST BELOW). ONLY I have “GODS” STORY … Which Not ONLY Includes “HIS” WISDOM… It JUST SO HAPPENS to ALSO INCLUDE His SCIENCE.! Ooh, you fancy. A period and an exclamation point.! SCIENCE, That I Believe is Going to CHANGE Our WORLD. GOD'S SCIENCE... SCIENCE, that Our Worlds TOP are Going to LEARN FROM. Making this A TOTAL FIX THE WORLD PACKAGE... HIS (GODS) GOAL is TO END ALL SIN. And I say He Has TAUGHT Me ALL You WILL NEED TO KNOW... A HUGE CLAIM ! I Started to "HEAR from The "SPIRIT WORLD (aprox) Age 10. HOWEVER My VISIONS Started in My LATE TEENS. (AGAIN VISION LIST is Below) I am Currently Now 53 & STILL RECEIVING. I KNOW NOW I will CONTINUE to Receive Until I am Finished With This World... LOTS MORE to COME. I have Been Taught It "ALL"(I Say “ALL”...HOWEVER I am STILL RECEIVING, Which Means also I am STILL LEARNING). So, if you're still learning, I guess you haven't ben taught It "ALL." ! Learning EVERYTHING About LIGHT, SOUND, DIMENSIONS... EVEN 3-D ! I wish real life were in 3-D.  This MEANS I HAVE Everything A SCIENTIST Will NEED to KNOW HOW to ... CREATE, CONTROL, FIX AND DESTROY... A FEW QUICK EXAMPLES... I have Been "With" Our HEAVENLY Father TWICE... 1st is WHEN I RECEIVED “HIS TOTAL“.  Then "AGAIN" In 2005 When I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES... This Was THE LONGEST and I say is THE MOST IMPORTANT VISION I Have Had. Which CONSIST of MUCH MORE Then Just looking into His EYES. They say there has been ONLY A FEW IN HISTORY That have EVER CLAIMED to Have "SEEN" HIM and LIVED... I am ONE!…& ONE Who is ALIVE. NEVER have I HEARD A CLAIM of ONE To Have LOOKED into His EYES!. I have SEEN This UNIVERSE OPEN & CLOSE... (This Means I Know HOW IT OPENS AND CLOSES). I have also Seen... THE FIRST IMAGE BURN, PASSED THROUGH THE VAIL, Seen TWO RIVERS... ONE WAS SOUND... THE OTHER River You'll Have To SPONSOR Me For… In Your Case GEO… MAKE This A FILM  I have RODE “INSIDE” THE “TUBE“ !… I will say DISNEY HAS NOTHING ON GODS RIDES.  I have EVEN Seen My MOLECULES MOVE! (AGAIN This means I KNOW HOW They MOVE) One of My MOST RECENT Visions was THE DESIGN of LIGHT... I say This DESIGN IS GOING TO TEACH THOSE AT THE TOP in SCIENCE.  Showing "HOW & WHERE 3 Dimensional are MADE... Where And HOW They Come into this CIRCLE of LIGHT Also What SURROUNDS EACH COLOR-& WHAT THEIR PURPOSE IS... & MORE! This Story Has In it ALL THE ANSWERS. One is "HOW To LOVE ALL OUR NEIGHBORS"... YES, ALL... EVEN THE ONES You May CALL “IDIOTS”. Even the IDIOTS? Good God, I think she's on to something ! I have BEEN With Them ALL... GOD OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, HEAVENS MOTHER, JESUS, EVEN ALL The KEEPERS of His KINGDOM… This MEANS I KNOW EVERYTHING! (AGAIN I am STILL RECEIVING) I'm guessing this means God keeps creating things to know and only telling her about it, so she constantly knows everything... but when there's something new, she's the first to know. ************************************ FILM IS The MAIN GOAL... For ALL To SEE What I have SEEN is The GOAL. (AGAIN VISION LIST is Below For The 1st Story ONLY). THREE STORIES Are READY for FULL LENGTH FILMS... 1st Story is Under The Copy Right... “IN MY HEAVENLY FATHERS ARMS“ TXUOO1595255) If I add letters and numbers after something, does that automatically make it under Copy Right? And is that anything like copyright? 2nd Story... “I AM HERE” (Not yet TYPED OUT) Omg I CAN'T WAIT ! Have Also The NEXT NEW SANTA STORY... Titled THE KING of KINGS… ALL are PACKED FULL of FUN SURPRISES... ALL Are Going to LOVE.  This STORY ANSWERS ALL The Questions We have ALL EVER WANTED TO Know. ANSWERS for SCIENCE, RELIGIONS & The COMMONERS... A COMPLETE PACKAGE for ALL ! ALL GOALS Include... BOOKS, FILMS, VIDEO GAMES, PRINTING BUSINESS Printing Books & Things Such as CALENDARS, DAILY WORDS, PLANNERS, PICTURES, POSTERS, PICTURES on CLOTHES, HATS Ect… & Finely To MAKE OBJECTS... At Least 4 of My Visions WILL be MY EXCLUSIVES... The TREE, The PAINT BRUSH, My HOLY HAND & THE DESIGN of LIGHT. The 1st 3 Will Be Made INTO “MANTEL” PIECES … ??? The Design of Light is… 1st For SCIENCE. It's For SCIENCE, y'all.! OTHER GOALS INCLUDE… A ONE of A Kind WORLD CONVENTION One That WILL INCLUDE ALL The Worlds Leaders, ALL Religions, A Few Top in Science, & A Few others Also Top In Their Fields. Planning on A 3 Day Me ONLY SPEAKER EVENT. Because that's what I'd love to see. This nutjob talking for three days straight. I Believe ALL WILL Attend… and Walk Away with Something NEW. I Want (At LEAST) The FIRST Film to be Finished by this time. This Group will be The First to See. Finely A WORLD TOUR.  That is one fine WORLD TOUR, if I do say so myself. After This Convention I am Planning on Asking ALL The World Leaders to Invite Me on TOUR to FILM A WORLD TOUR DOCUMENTARY…. I KNOW I WILL GET THIS ONE TOO ! *************************** WILLING For You to JUST START Me ! My MAIN HOLD Up is I NEED (AT LEAST) 3-7 PICTURES MADE AND COPYRIGHTED... Before this Goes to PRINT. The TREE, The PAINT BRUSH, My HOLY HAND... These 3 Will Be My EXCLUSIVE. The Others Are My VERSIONS of Things ALREADY OUT THERE… JESUS in His TRUE SPIRIT, PERFECT LIGHT & THE ENTRY WAY. Last one is ...“THE DESIGN of LIGHT” However This One CAN WAIT for It Goes With THE SECOND BOOK. I am asking Also for An EDITOR... As You SHOULD SEE I am NOT A “PROFESSIONAL” WRITER However I did MANAGE to PERFORM My 1st MIRACLE and TYPE this 1st Story ALL OUT... READABLE ! (That's debatable) However I am A MESS as You Can SEE... Nope. Hadn't noticed that you were a MESS. And Finely A WEBSITE...  That is one fine WEBSITE, if I do say so myself. One That IS SET Up FOR E-BOOKS SELLS. ************************************************ List of My Visions Are Below For The 1st Story ONLY. All are more like Mini Videos...Stories In themselves Starting with what I call My “Earthly” Visions: Tsunamis Fire coming from inside the Earth Wind AN Asteroid’s AN Asteroid's what? AN Asteroid's... pink fuzzy feather boa?  “Heavenly” Visits: Two Guilds Teach me EVERYTHING about The Universe. My Heavenly Father Opens to The Foyer of His (Our) Heavenly Home. My Heavenly Father as real estate agent. At THE Window With my Father How to get into The Universe Pretty sure we're already there. Speeds of Light Pretty sure there's only one speed, and we already know it. Heavens Operating Room The River and its Keepers The Energy of the body He- Man  Heavens Mother Jesus in his BROWN ROBE  Jesus in his WHITE ROBE  Jesus playing DRESS-UP Jesus with a TIARA  Jesus IN DRAG  The Bridge of Letting Go Sounds like a singer-songwriter album. The River of Sound Time Currently? 4:33pm. Heavens Open Heaven is hosting golf tournaments now? Preparing for a Wedding Married THE MAN and went Over THE Threshold Jesus in his TRUE SPIRIT Letting Go Dark Circles  The Veil Oneness The Disk  Light Splits Giving GOD my Will  The Tree The Paint Brush The Carpenter Santa  The King of Kings Crowning them Whom are we crowning? Oh, you know. Them. My Holy Hand  White Light The Color Clear  Kaleidoscope Light Dancing to The Light 3- Bugles Circles With Color  Burn an Image Thought The Three ways to ENTERS and EXIT Vision comes WITH IN /OUT THE Nose  BREATH The SNOW FLAKE  The EAGLE  The Mountain  Plus There are MANY visits I HAVE HAD With THE Mother Her Titles…HEAVENS MOTHER, WIFE TO THE KING, QUEEN, MY BEST FRIEND, PRAYER, HEALING, THE HOLY SPIRIT, and also THE GREAT MERGER If your INTERESTED The FIRST STORY IS ALL TYPED & I can SEND... JUST ASK. The MAIN SCIENCE WILL Be in BOOK # 2... "I AM HERE" I am SO interested to read. I'd love to know all about the MAIN SCIENCE. Thanks for your time... HOPING to hear From You SOON. I'm so tempted to get back to her and pretend I want to make a movie of this, just so I can hear more. Then I'd say that we unfortunately don't have the budget to do justice to her amazing visions. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell for a lot of the pictures in this post. Whirlwind! 06/30/2011
 So, it's been over two months since I posted anything. Whoops. May and June did not exist!!!  Here are some excuses. Some are more true than others. -Whirlwind romance.  -Heat exhaustion.  -It's not you, it's me.  -Whoa, I'm in love with Ju-da-as, Ju-da-as  -I sold my soul to Twitter.  -My dog ate my homework.  -I dropped my phone in the lake and I need your numbers ASAP!!!!1!  -I kinda misunderstood the assignment.  Regardless, I'm workin' on it now, in this slower summer.  And NO MORE EXCUSES, GAGA! Twhatter? 04/26/2011
Do you like Neighborhood Watch? Do you like Twitter? Well, you'll like them together! Follow us at @NHWatchWeb DO IT. Illustrated Junk Mail 5 04/21/2011
     Dreams 3 03/17/2011
 It's time for another epic dream! This time, I lived in our world in the present time, but I lived in a tiny kingdom where just about everybody knew magic. Let's run down the characters in this dream, eh? First, we've got me. I was a little younger in this dream... maybe like 15? Still an awkward teenager (well, more awkward than I am now, and considerably more teenager-y). I worked in the castle of the magic kingdom (oh dear God, didn't put that together until just now.) I was very much the seemingly insignificant hero in the dream.  My young pet dragon. In the dream, he wasn't exactly Spyro, but he was pretty close, so let's just call him Spyro.  The general of the army in this kingdom. Yes, that's Clive Owen... but at other points in the dream he was Liam Neeson or Hugh Jackman. He was not Gene Hackman, though, and that's what I almost typed. Hugh Jackman and Gene Hackman are not the same person.  The bad guy ruler of the Hun-like group who lived near the Magic Kingdom. Don't think about getting down to business yet, though- we'll get there. There are more characters to come later, but let's just stick with these until they're introduced. Anyway, I'm hangin' out with Spyro in the fields around the Magic Kingdom. I decide I want to fly around a bit, so I hop on Spyro's back and fly. Just then in the distance I notice the bad guy's army advancing on our kingdom. Everyone knew they were out there, but nobody knew they were actually planning to attack us. I run and tell some soldiers, but they don't believe me. Feeling like we should really be getting prepared for battle, I decide that I should at least see if I can round up some spare wands for the battle. Now, before you go accusing my subconscious mind of imitating Harry Potter, it wasn't quite like that. The wands were held differently in this dream. We held them like this:  And I was really awful at it, I always dropped my wand. So anyway, I'm in the basement of the castle, taking every wand I can get my hands on (not many, I don't have access to most of the stockpile) and I also grab a bunch of things that can be whittled down into wands like broomsticks. (In this dream there was no core or anything that was an important part of the wand- the wand was merely a tool for pointing your own energy at something. It barely mattered what it was made out of.) As I'm stockpiling and whittling, a soldier comes down to yell at me. He thinks I'm being a menace. While he's berating me, the General shows up and tells the soldier to get ready for battle, we'll be under attack soon. The soldier leaves. The General says he overheard me telling the other soldiers earlier about the army, so he went to check it out himself. He thanks me for being so helpful, and gives me a really weird looking wand that he thinks will be just right for me. He then asks me if he can have the other wands I've made and gives me an important task: go to the top of the tower by the moat, where the battle won't be as rough, but I can still do some backup attacking. I'm excited, so I get my dragon up there and we camp out, while the general and the rest of the soldiers... wait for it... get down to business to defeat the huns.  After a while, it sounds like the battle has started. I can't see anything from the windows in my part of the tower, though. Just then, three really creepy people come through the door to the room I'm in: two men and a woman.  They start to menacingly approach me, and for some reason I know it's because they want to eat me. I try and fight them off with my new wand, but they seem to not be damaged by anything I'm doing. They just keep slowly but steadily advancing... and they're floating toward me, not walking. They're very close, so Spyro and I jump out the window, planning to fly to safety. Just then, an enemy on the ground attacks us, hits Spyro, and he dies. I fall into the moat. The tower I was in gets hit by something and crumbles into the moat around me.  I swim to safety around the debris, and make it back inside the castle. As soon as I enter the door, though, the three creepy people show up right behind me. I can run faster then them, but it seems that whenever I run into a new room they're right behind me again. They chase me to another tower in the castle and I'm running up the stairs. They're right behind me again. I figure it out: they move slowly, but they can teleport between doors and windows. But then I discover something else: I'm not running up the stairs any more. I'm flying. I've somehow figured out how to fly. Since I'm obviously no help in the battle at this moment, I decide to protect myself instead and get out of there. I fly out of the Magic Kingdom to a nearby city- a modern city with skyscrapers, etc.  I'm sure the creepy people can't find me there. I fly into the first open window I find - into a school of some sort. I'm in the office of a professor there. We chat. I explain my predicament. He says I shouldn't be there- the people after me can see me through the windows. He tells me that they hate noise, though, so I should find someplace noisy. I fly across the street to some guy's apartment. He's blaring loud music. He's an artist. I hide out there for a bit. Then I wake up. He told me to follow the yellow brick road. 03/09/2011
 A while back I went on a bad date. A really bad date.  I met him online, as I do often. I'm bad at just meeting guys at bars or whatever and being like "HI I'M MICHAEL LET'S DATE."  So, we met at a gay bar - one that I typically like. It was very crowded. He beat me there, so I met him upstairs. He didn't stand up to meet me. Oh wait, he did, he was just short.  Now, I'm no giant, but I'm a fairly tall guy. I always claim to be 6'2", but that might not be exactly true. My doctor told me I was 6'2" once, but other friends of mine who are 6'2" are definitely taller than I am... So I'm assuming that I'm 6'1.5" and my doctor just rounded up.  So, we went to the bar to get a drink. When we got back, his table had been taken. No biggie, we can stand and chat. But it's crowded and loud. His sound is going into my chest. I'm not hearing absolutely everything he's saying.  Just from that, we were set up for a less-than-par date. But then our conversations really started. He had a government job. Normally that's no problem, but he talked at length about it in a way that was very "look how important I am." I thought it was time for another drink I return with my drink to find my date with another guy, about the same height.  I thought, "Oh, no biggie, this is a really casual date. He just ran into this friend or co-worker here, and they'll chat for a bit, then Shorty B will be on his way. Well, Shorty B didn't leave. And Shorty B also had a government job. Turns out they hadn't met before that moment. I guess it was just their shorty-ness that brought them together. So here we are, me and the lollipop guild. From what little of their conversation that I can hear, they're bragging about their security clearances so much that I just assumed they didn't have penises at all. Then my date, Shorty A, says "My security clearance is so high that I'm actually not allowed to tell you who I work for."  Whoa, ok there, hipster dwarf. I've probably never heard of your boss anyway. But that's not enough. Shorty A: "Guess who I work for." Shorty B: "Is it [name]?" Shorty A: "No." Shorty B: "Is it [name]?" Shorty A: "No." Shorty B: "Is it..." Me: If he guessed right, you wouldn't be able to tell him, right?  I was afraid they were going to bite my ankles, so I decided to go get drink #3. I come back, and... DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN. They're gone. So here I am, alone in a crowded bar with a drink. I look around to see if maybe they've just moved, but I can't find them. I set up alternate plans with other friends, finish my drink, and get out of there. As I'm leaving, I text ShortAy something along the lines of "Hey, I went to get another drink. When I got back I couldn't find you, so I'm just leaving." I get no response. I walk outside and around the outside of the building, on my way to the metro. I look in the window. There they are, sitting together at a cute little table for two. Aww. Midget Magnetism.  So, I went out with other friends, had a little bit too much to drink, vented my story, and then collapsed laughing on the parking garage floor on the way to my ride home's car. I think we were talking about elephant trunks. Those silly pachyderms!  NOTE: Just to clarify... yes, the date was going poorly, and anybody could have seen that. I would have had the balls to finish the date and then just never talk to him again, though.  This is how my hour-long meeting went today. Some co-workers and I went to a meeting at one of our client's buildings downtown, in one of the tallest buildings in our city's skyline. We met on the 15th floor, and while I've been in tall buildings many a time, I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the floor-to-ceiling windows I faced while seated in the meeting. More often than not, I found my attention drawn to what was going on outside, but one item in particular caught my eye above all others. And my 6-year-old brain couldn't help but share with everyone in this meeting what I had just seen.        Ninja Assassin Table 02/04/2011
 Inspired by recent true events.          It's "Draw a Dinosaur" Day! 01/31/2011
  | CategoriesAll We Are...Neighborhood Watch. We keep an eye on things around here. On the Watch:Katie - is wondering if she could borrow a cup of ammonia, but it's totally not for the meth lab in her basement. ArchivesDecember 2011 |
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